Progress, not perfection

Today I went to my kickboxing boot camp.  It was just me, another gal and Ryan, our instructor.  I have to selfishly say, it was nice to have the one on one direction.  However, I was reminded today of a huge problem I have.  I have this issue with needing to be perfect at anything I try, from day one.  How ridiculous is that?  It is quite ridiculous.  How could I even begin to assume that I could be perfect at something I have never done before?  It is impossible.  Yet today, as Ryan was telling me how to execute a kick, I became so frustrated with myself!  I could feel my anxiety and frustration starting to boil over.  It was all of my own doing.  He was patient and calm.  He tried to explain it to me several ways so I could understand.  Yet, there I was, getting annoyed with myself.  Then I felt the tears. Thankfully, they just burned my eyes and did not fall.

I need to get over my own ego if I have any hope of progressing beyond where I am now.  One of my favourite sayings is "Progress not Perfection".  I need to live this and not just recite it to myself.  Just doing the next right thing and trying the best that I can each day is all that I should expect of myself.  Ryan  told me not to over think anything in life, especially Martial Arts.  It can be overwhelming.  He is so right.  One of my biggest character defects is that I over think absolutely everything and as a result, I always feel overwhelmed.  Perhaps Muay Thai is exactly what I need.  The discipline and focus will be good for me physically as well as mentally.

When I was training with my old trainer, I always expected to be criticized.  I was always hearing how I was doing something wrong.  It was rare that I ever "got it".  It only makes sense since this sort of training is completely new to me.  I totally realize I need a lot of coaching and I have a lot to improve on.  However, I am just not feeling that same sort of pressure.  Maybe that is why I am feeling better about what I am doing and why I can't wait to get back to the gym to train again.  I enjoyed training with my old trainer, but this is on a whole new, exciting level.  Two hours after I got home, I was looking online to see if anyone was going to be there later today so I could go back. 

Tomorrow marks my very first Muay Thai class.  I have been watching YouTube videos of technique.  It is a brutal sport.  It is fast and very violent.  But for some reason, I am attracted to it anyway.  I am not expecting to become competitive anytime soon or really, ever.  I am just going to enjoy the class tomorrow and absorb all that I can.  I am taking it one day at a time and I am not over thinking it.